The Overcomer Life

When did it become the norm to focus more on the addict rather than the family member? It seems to me that for my entire life it would always be that the focus should be more on the addicted loved one and that it is selfish to express what you were thinking or feeling about the situation. Just because an addict is struggling with their addiction, it doesn’t mean everyone else is immune.

Family members go through so much with addiction as well. They have to put up with the yelling, the insults, the neglect, and drama, that addiction brings too. It’s hard to forgive an addict. It’s hard to heal from the effects of addiction, even if you’re not the one who has the addiction.

We live in a day and age where I believe we are trained to zip our lips in order to truly help the person struggling with addiction. But, who is helping you? You matter too. You’re human too.

Most of my life I had struggled with this and I didn’t even know it. I thought that I had to shut up because it was always that way. No one wanted to hear me out. I just wanted to express how I was too. If my brother was free to express, then why couldn’t I? Why did I have to master that smile around when I was dying inside? Why did I have to remain positive and focus on someone else that was struggling while I would put myself aside? Why did I have to reject myself in order to help someone else? I wasn’t helping anyone. I didn’t know how to truly help anyone since I didn’t know how to help myself.

I rejected myself because I thought it was the right thing to do. That rejection ended up nearly destroying my life. I didn’t know it until I was at my lowest moment. I didn’t see myself as a real person because of it, of what I was thought to be right. I lost nearly everything because I stopped caring.

The family shouldn’t have to drown in despair over their loved one. Just because they are family, it doesn’t make anything right. Family doesn’t automatically make everything right. I only broke though because I finally saw the truth of God. He truly is The God Who Sees, even at the lowest moments. He sees even when everyone else sees a piece of trash. He sees and welcomes home the discarded when society pushes them away to focus on the addict.

We have to get to place in society to let the loved ones know they are seen as well. You are seen right here. I see you. I know. You are not forgotten here. You matter. I’m here for the addict of course, but I’m here for their loved one. I see your brokenness. You matter right here. Healing belongs to you too.

You are seen.